VOLUME 4

OLDEST LIVING MAN LOSES TITLE QUIETLY IN HIS SLEEP

LATIN GRAMMYS REMAIN HIGHEST-RATED AWARD SHOW
PRESENTED IN DEAD LANGUAGE

MAN CONFESSES TO EXTREMELY CLEVER MURDER AFTER
INTERROGATION OF YES OR NO QUESTIONS

GRAVY BOAT TOPS LIST OF MOST HAZARDOUS BOATS

MONTH AFTER START OF CHINESE YEAR OF THE ROOSTER,
THOUSANDS STILL PUTTING MONKEY ON THEIR CHECKS

JUSTICE DEPARTMENT PROMOTES TOLERANCE OF
NON-WEIRD RELIGIONS

STUDY FINDS HEART PAIN AWARENESS WAS MOST
HIGH DURING ERA OF SANFORD & SON

HOMELESS SLOW TO ADOPT DSL

AS FEWER HOME DURING DAYŚMORE AVON LADIES
SWITCHING TO BURGLARY

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